Thursday, August 18, 2016
Naive Debater? Or Mistaken Reader?
While I was reading articles for Room For Debate, I encountered an interesting side to the argument. The basic question of the debate was, is there a definitive breaking point of a marriage? One of the debaters, Danielle Teller, seemed, in my eyes, naive to some extent. She argued that at least one person knew if there was a problem in the marriage, and that the only cure for this was their honesty; to tell their partner that there was a problem in the marriage. However, I argue that her first statement is a fallacy. People in abusive marriages actually don't know that their marriage has gone wrong. Some even go as far as to argue that their relationship is not abusive. Perhaps it's me who has the wrong idea about abusive relationships. What do you guys think?
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Keep in mind that not all abusive relationships/marriages are the same. Like you said, a great number of partners in abusive marriages don't know that their relationship is abusive. Honesty and communication are great ways to tackle this issue but unfortunately the partners are not always able to fix their problems. That is when the abused partner should leave.
ReplyDeleteIn some of these relationships the person being abused doesn't leave because they try to rationalize the situation or just cannot leave due to factors like economic struggles or children. They are stuck in the marriage whether they really want to stay or not. Granted not many abused partners are in that situation but there are some out there who are trapped.
Then there is the problem with the abusor in the case that he may be unaware of the abuse and will try to rationalize it and defend it when questioned about it. There is also the slim but horrifying chance that the abuser is aware of the abuse and wants it to continue. I agree with her in the fact that honesty is a good first step to finding a solution but I also agree with you about how not all abusive marriages and relationships are salvageable.